Aki wrote to me!

[ltmurnau]

"Dear Dad

The reason why I sent this letter because, mom dosn't know Grampa's adress so please when you get this letter, can you send this letter to Grampa please. And whatever thank you very much about you gave me 5000 yen.

From Aki

PS. Today is NO TV and NO TV Game. I'm Ultra Hyper Super bored. Mom cut my hair."

Okay, it's not much but it's the first time he's written to me.
A thank-you letter to my dad, which I will forward, was enclosed.
The stationery features a train engine careening down a hillside, about to collide with another train coming out of a tunnel, while the boxcars attached to the original train have come off and are exploding in the background.

Comments

[ilna.livejournal.com]

Your son is ace :) I still mean what i said a while ago about my unborn first daughter.

WHen in Montreal, i met with someone i know from NIN-bootleg trading circles; i saw him with his gear in the line, started talking with him, and then got aware of how much i was owing him, in matters of taping and sharing. He's got two children, one of them gets off big time on Skinny Puppy and Nine Inch Nails; he must be three or something. So i told him about that other canadian dad i knew, and how much his son loved the Noi Boten.

I never heard stories of the sort involving french parents - i think you canadian parents must have especially cool notions about how to raise your kids or something :)

(did he draw the train almost-crash, by the way ? or is it the way it's printed. Groovy choice anyway :))

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't think I am a typical parent. Whether that will be good or bad I don't know.

He did not draw the stationery; in fact, I wish he would start drawing again, he was very good at it. No, it was Japanese stationery, which can take some very weird forms.

Two things can't help but bother me: the letter to my dad was friendlier and longer, and he wrote his return address "Akito Ueda", which is my wife's surname. Hm, guess I can't enjoy anything quite unalloyed.

It sounds like a good sign.

[lilchiva.livejournal.com]

I would guess he is pissed off but but still loves you. Maybe he wants you to do a little more.

Re: It sounds like a good sign.

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

I call him every week (on weekends: with the time difference, he gets home from school at 1 am our time) and send him a package, note or short letter every two weeks or so. If he had e-mail I'd write him every day. I'd prefer to think that it's more of a novelty to write Grampa. After all, he has been gone only four months.
I know, sounds defensive but I don't know when I'm being silly about these things.

Being a parent is hard.

[lilchiva.livejournal.com]

No you don't really sound defensive as I have no idea what's going on in your life. But having pulled the name change thing on my own Pop I would say that it indicates he feels you're not doing something. It could be as simple as not being there or he could perceive that you have somehow hurt his mother. Who knows?

[ilna.livejournal.com]

I was just stunned at how much all of the two canadian dads i happen to know have got such an ace taste in music, and are generously sharing it with their sons. That other friend of mine (Joe) is having trouble with his wife, who's big time disapproving of the explicit lyrics in some of these songs; i wonder if you're encountering these sort of issues..

My guess would be the fact that he's writing longer to his grandpa is about the fact he's in touch way less with him than with you, espec. with the regularity of communication between the two of you you're describing.

I'm feeling stupid asking this (and sorry if you've been writing about it, and i've missed it :/) but where is he now ?

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

My ex-wife hated every last item in my collection of over 700 items of music, except one or two Pizzicato 5 albums.

Yes, sometimes on the phone we talk for an hour, sometimes only five minutes. It varies.

Don't feel bad - I haven't been writing about it much. He left for Japan in late July. He will be back next July, for two months.

[ilna.livejournal.com]

*This* only sounds like a very good reason for divorce, even if i don't know anything about your private life. But i'm sorry of one effect of it is that you and him are so far away :( It's good if you get long times to spend with him, as a counterpart, though.

(and if he's know in Japan, that explains for the last name, by the way : i guess that's the one which makes him fit in the best at school, over there, and that's precious in these times of adaptation he must be going through.)

I hope he's getting a net connection soon, because indeed that smoothens down communication over such distances..

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

I just want you to know I had a great reply written to this, and Livejournal ate it. I grow weary of their balky servers.

Aki's a great kid

[emilelagieux.livejournal.com]

Hey ltmurnau,

Aki's a great kid and he loves you - especially 'cuz you are a great dad! I'm guessing he writes more to grampa because he doesn't get to talk to him as much, therefore grampa is "special". You are just boring old dad that talks to him every week, dotes on him and makes sure he is OK - always.

Our kids are a little like that. They don't get to see their Grammy (their musical talent has yet to be realized) much, but the visit is always the "be all, end all" when they do.

Re: Aki's a great kid

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

Well, I am coming around to that thought. I hope that you will meet him this summer.

Tribe.net is down right now so I will answer your question here, and no it was not too personal. Ueda is a common-as-dirt surname. Ex's first name was Mitsuko, another entirely usual name, put them together and it's like I married a Jane Smith (though the Japanese usually use "Tanaka" for a generic surname).