Buckling to Unseen Pressures

So here is one of those stupid quizzes. Send me some more, and I'll fill them out too. A Man In Full? Hah, by the time I finish you'll wish you'd never learnt to read.

1. What do you wish your name was? Shut Up or Piss Off
2. Do you act your age? No
3. What's your day job? Desk Drone
4. What's your dream job? Postman
5. What item of clothing do you get the most compliments on? Jacket
6. What color is it? Black
7. If you were a fruit what type would you be? Jack
8. Are you a banana? No, but I know some
9. If you had to wear a crazy hat, what would it look like? Black bowler
10. You have one wish, what is it? Eidetic memory
11. What's your super hero identity? The Caffeine Kid
12. How fuzzy is fuzzy enough? Too fuzzy
13. Who's your daddy? The Lord of Hellfire
14. Who's da bomb? Uh, what?
15. Do you wish you were Blond (if you're not)? No
16. If you knew no one was watching what would you do? Scratch
17. Who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop? Dizzy
18. If you were a hippopotamus what color would I be? I don't know, what colour are you now?
19. If you were a survivor what would your luxury item be? Wire saw for garrotting the others.
20. What's your motto? "I am not bitter. I am tangy."
21. What's your battle cry? "UUUUUURRRRRAAAAAHHHH!!!!"
22. Cooties. Are they real? Depends where you're been sleeping.
23. Have you ever made the rainbow connection? S'pose not.
24. How many licks does it take to screw in a light bulb? One
25. Which is groovier? Mirror balls or disco tile? Tile
26. Are you sure? Or unsure? Not sure about that
27. What word is the best? Pleonasm
28. Which do you prefer? Skipping? Or traipsing? traipsing
29. What do you do when you're uber happy? Laugh maniacally and squirm
30. Did this questionnaire make you uber happy? No
31. What will you do now that you're finished? Find something else to fill out.

First And Last And Always

I stole this one from Anne's journal:

First Bike: Green.
First Best Friend: Hugh. Now he runs a paintball business in Ottawa.
First Memory: Basement of our house in Corner Brook, Nfld.
First Car: Never owned one.
First Date with Girl: age 20, brought Claire some wheat from an Alberta field.
First Real Girl Date: age 23, Edith, for cheesecake
First Girl Kiss: age 17, Kelli
First Girl Break-up: age 23, Edith, Tom had more cheesecake. They dump me, I haven't dumped anyone, ever.
First Date with Boy: n/a
First Real Boy Date: n/a.
First Boy Kiss: n/a
First Boy Break-up: n/a
First Job: age 13, French tutor.
First Screen Name: Citizen X.
First Self-Purchased Album: age 15, "National Anthems of the World". My tastes soon changed.
First Concert: 1981, Black Flag and the Subhumans at the OAP Hall.
First Funeral: 1990, one of the men in my platoon killed himself.
First Pet: age 12, Beagle puppy named Boots.
First Prime Minister Voted For: I always vote but have never yet picked a winning party, on purpose.
First Piercing/Tattoo: No piercings. One tattoo, 2002.
First Independent Home: 1988, room in the barracks, CFB Uplands.
First House/Apartment: 1993, condo, Selkirk Avenue.
First Credit Card: 1988, Visa.
First Independent Holiday: 1988, London and Berlin, three weeks.
First Love: 1989, Alice.
First Enemy: Age 5, Allan. Knocked one of his teeth out. First and last real fight I've been in.

Last Good Cry: I honestly cannot remember.
Last Movie Seen: in theatre: Charlie's Angels Full Throttle. on video: Britannia Hospital.
Last Book Read: V-2 by Walter Dornberger.
Last Cuss Word Uttered: "fuck", because this fax machine keeps sending to my phone.
Last Beverage Drank: water, just now.
Last Food Consumed: takigomi with bamboo shoots, scallops and seaweed sprinkles.
Last Crush: Lusting after cute but taken co-worker.
Last Phone Call: from that goddamn fax machine.
Last T.V Show Watched: video of an episode of "The Prisoner".
Last Time Showered: Last night.
Last Shoes Worn: 10 hole Docs until my broken foot heals.
Last C.D. Played: Klaus Nomi, "Klaus Nomi".
Last Item Bought: tent pegs, Canadian Tire.
Last Thing Downloaded: "How Canadians Govern Themselves", by dead Senator Eugene Forsey.
Last Annoyance: Toss-up between misdialed fax machines and indecisive boss.
Last Disappointment: Doing my Magic Yawn and opening my eyes to find I'm still here.
Last Thing Written: Lawyer's fax number.
Last Key Used: House door, last night.
Last Words Spoken: "Sounds good!", in a dismissive tone.
Last Sleep: ended at 0715 today.
Last Instant Message To: Anne, on Yahoo.
Last Weird Encounter: With someone who might be working here temporarily, who might be the niece of my stepgrandmother.
Last Ice Cream Eaten: Cheap McDonald's hot fudge sundae, last night. Had to bring my own spoon.
Last Time Amused: on the bus this morning.
Last Time In Love: Really in love? Age 24, Alice.
Last Time Hugged: Akito, goodnight.
Last Lipstick Used: n/a.
Last Underwear Worn: Dark blue pinstripe.
Last Bra Worn: n/a.
Last Shirt Worn: gray guayabera with suicide-bomber pockets.
Last Time Dancing: Approximately 2200 hrs 12 July 2003, just after breaking my foot, to Devo's "Head Like a Hole".