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[personal profile] ltmurnau
Well, the new neighbours started to move in yesterday - well, the man of the house at any rate. I took one look at what was going into the house and felt bitter disappointment. Next to his SHINY NEW DARK-RED PICKUP TRUCK that was sitting in the driveway, there was a WHITE PATTERNED OVERSTUFFED COUCH that Mxo said was too big to go in through the door (wonder how they'll figure that one out) and a bunch of WHITE EXERCISE EQUIPMENT. I saw him getting a bunch of groceries from SAFEWAY out of the back of his TRUCK, he was wearing TOMMY HILFIGER SHORTS and, though young-looking, had a big BALD SPOT on the top of his head.

He vanished inside and we spent a quiet evening, then about 11:00 he turned on his BIG-SCREEN TV that was either playing a MOVIE ON DVD IN STEREO or else he has one of those CABLE TV PACKAGES that get only channels that feature lots of screaming, roaring and shooting. I could hear everything clearly though this was coming from the far side of the next house over (I live in a detached house; this is not a duplex situation). I was not happy.

This situation may improve when they move lots of FURNITURE and CARPETING into the TV ROOM to soak up the sound, because last night it must have been bouncing off the NEW HARDWOOD FLOORS. If it doesn't, I am going to exact some kind of obscure revenge - something vaguely threatening, disturbing and unsettling. Suggestions welcome. Fortunately they rent so if it's bad I can talk to the Croats who own the place - they like me.

As I said, I was disappointed after one look at these people - Mxo said the wife is BLONDE too. They seem so boring and normal and Pink, it's beyond description. Unfortunately, these days being Normal means psychotic materialistic attachment to THINGS, having bad taste and being very loud with it, and generally behaving as if you're the only one on the planet.

I would dearly love to be proven wrong on any of this, but the situation looks dire. O Espressoman, why couldn't you have been my neighbour?

Date: 2003-07-31 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
what wrong with a little psychotic materialistic attachment to THINGS? I like STUFF!

I'll be your neighbor. Just kill someone so I can afford it.

Date: 2003-07-31 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
There's nothing wrong with stuff per se. It's the stuff people choose to clutter up their lives with, and the relationship htey have with it, that bugs me.

In my neighbourhood, you have to be responsible for your own killings. Give me a little time to study the movements of my new neighbours, and I will give you a precis of their habits so you can knock one or both of them off efficiently and move in (I'll leave it up to you to decide whether to keep the blonde). It's quite a nice little house, actually.

Date: 2003-07-31 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
I'd probably prefer the blonde, but it would be more plausable for me to off her and swoop in as the new women. I will come on the scene as a maid and double her valium doses or something.

Date: 2003-07-31 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
PS: you kind of sounded like an irate father there: "Dear, in THIS neighborhood we do our own killings, now go to you room and don't come out until your poisons are tidied up!"

Date: 2003-07-31 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
Yes, and I want you to be nastier to Pugsley, too....

Date: 2003-07-31 10:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
I am far too expressive to be Wednesday.

I can't really imagine her going, "Kitties, weeeeee! I just drank a bottle of fructose, weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'm going to jump in the fountain, yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: 2003-07-31 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
Hmmm, I suppose not. But I can't think of any hyperactive kitty-loving gamine-faced thrill-killers at the moment.

Date: 2003-07-31 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
gamine faced?

gamine as in Weimar era prostitute?

Date: 2003-07-31 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
gamine, feminine form of "gamin", from the French = "a girl of a pert, impish appearance and disposition". It appeared to be the correct word; didn't mean to make any whoreallusions.

Date: 2003-07-31 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
I think that is where the term came from. It was used for youg, energetic, pert girls who dressed young.

Date: 2003-07-31 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
So, don't you think that suits you?

I gotta go and sign some lawyer papers now. Talk to you later - you're not going to that Vampyre thing, right? Anyway, after that.

Date: 2003-07-31 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scuttle.livejournal.com
no, instead there is work for me.

will be at coffee though.

Date: 2003-07-31 10:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
OK, see you tomorrow then. Promise I will be in a better mood than last time!

Date: 2003-07-31 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
You haven't seen the guy. You'd probably couldn't restrain your impulse to saw his head off with the breadknife after more than a few days. Hell, it's only been 24 hours and I have already developed an irrational hatred of the ground he walks on. (Haven't heard his voice yet so don't know if it will "fill me with a terrible rage" to boot.)

For poetic justice, couldn't you as Maid arrange for Wifey to have some kind of fatal strangling incident with her obsessive-exercise machinery?
(deleted comment)

Re: Apologies about the neighnor

Date: 2003-08-03 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kiri-bean.livejournal.com
Good fences make good neighbours, eh?

Now if you could only soundproof them.

Re: Apologies about the neighnor

Date: 2003-08-04 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltmurnau.livejournal.com
I'll soundproof 'em, with a COLOMBIAN NECKTIE....

Date: 2003-08-03 07:13 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Is this why you didn't show up at the George? 'Cause you were too tired .. or too pissed off with the white-trash neighbour's?

b und das gewaltig t

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