Whirring Flashing Silver Blades

[ltmurnau]

I got one of these on the weekend:



It works all right but God damn, it's safe. The way it's designed, I couldn't stick my fingers into the whirring roaring blades even if I wanted to. And the hopper is way too small, I'd have to chop my victim up into at least 32 pieces before doing a Fargo on 'em.

I ask you, where's the thrill in yard work if you can't lose a limb or at least digits, and what good is a powered appliance that can't help you hide evidence?

Comments

[bruxists.livejournal.com]

That's a bitchin' chipper, my friend. I should watch Fargo again. It's been too long. Buscemi killed me in that movie!

"You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot in the face!"